


Talks and engagement rings

by queertennie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Communication, Depression, Domestic, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, M/M, Trans Character, hell yeah!! they talk!! wowie, its not mentioned but ten is trans, this is just 3.3k of yukten softness, xuxi is in his teelings (ten feelings)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 06:52:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queertennie/pseuds/queertennie
Summary: As expected, Ten is standing right over him, with his arms crossed over his chest and a exasperated expression on his face. His black, newly re-dyed hair is pinned back with a bright yellow hair clip, showing off his sweaty forehead. He’s wearing a white shirt that probably belongs to Yukhei, considering how it reaches his mid-thigh, nearly covering up the loose basketball shorts he’s put on underneath. Ten looks clammy, tired in the way only summer heat can make him. He still has a little bit of his mud face mask under his chin that he probably missed when washing it off and a pimple growing on his right temple. Yukhei’s in love.





	Talks and engagement rings

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello! wayv has finally debuted so im posting this softest yukten to celebrate!!! it's very self-indulgent defvjhd i might continue this and make a series out of it, so let me know if this is something you'd be interested in reading!! btw ten is trans!! it's not mentioned but He Is, if you come at me because of that you can catch my nb fists
> 
> there are some mentions of depression and xuxi's family being homophobic, but it's all pretty vague
> 
> hope you enjoy!
> 
> tw: @queertennie

“Hey, get up sleepyhead.”

 

Yukhei allows himself one more, way too short moment of basking in the pleasantly refreshing breeze of the ceiling fan that has been on the highest setting since early in the morning. The constant whirring provides a very calming sound, one that Yukhei likes to fall asleep to. He hums gently, and when a few moments pass without any reaction, he lazily opens his right eye to look up at Ten. 

 

As expected, the boy is standing right over him, with his arms crossed over his chest and a exasperated expression on his face. His black, newly re-dyed hair is pinned back with a bright yellow hair clip, showing off his sweaty forehead. He’s wearing a white shirt that probably belongs to Yukhei, considering how it reaches his mid-thigh, nearly covering up the loose basketball shorts he’s put on underneath. Ten looks clammy, tired in the way only summer heat can make him. He still has a little bit of his mud face mask under his chin that he probably missed when washing it off and a pimple growing on his right temple. Yukhei’s in love.

 

“What’s up?” Yukhei answers, with a voice a few octaves lower than usual, not wanting to break the stillness of the moment. He closes his eye and relaxes against the hardwood floor. His heart feels like wind chimes in a middle of the hurricane, even after all this years, even after waking up next to Ten all these mornings, even after today. He wonders if his feelings will ever chill the fuck out. 

 

Ten nudges him gently with his bare foot, urging him up, “Come on sushi roll, we have to get going. We’re meeting up with the rest in, like, half an hour, and you know what Doyoung is like about being on time,” Ten quietens down for a second. “That uptight bitch.” he continues, with fondness evident in his voice. Or at least that’s what Yukhei hopes it is.

 

Yukhei sighs and stretches out, feeling his spine crack in a places where a 23 year old man’s spine probably shouldn’t crack. He loosens up and continues lying down on the pleasantly cold floor. It makes him feel a little numb, more like someone serene and content rather than like a gaping hole of homesickness and sadness that he desperately tries to close up, fill with anything from stupid computer games, even stupider alcohol or Ten. Only the latter succeeds, to some extent.

 

A hush falls over the room, broken only by the continuous rotations of the ceiling fan. Yukhei doesn’t want to open his eyes, doesn't want to get off the floor and meet people, do anything at all. He would much rather prefer to melt into a big poodle of human goo and sink into their apartment floor. He furrows his brows. No, he shouldn’t do that, it could moisten their wood panels, puff them all up and make the floor uneven. Ten would never shut the fuck up about it.

 

He hears Ten sit down next to him, probably in some weird, impossible way that only his insanely flexible dancer body is capable of executing. His thigh makes contact with Yukhei’s hip and his hand, almost automatically at this point, settles down on Ten’s leg, squeezing gently, quietly appreciating and thanking for Ten’s ability to sense Yukhei’s moods. Ten puts his palm on Yukhei’s one, intertwining their fingers. Ten’s hands have always been small, dainty and warm, but in moment like this they seem to be the only thing that can anchor him in the reality, keep Yukhei away from all the shit in his head. They are back to silence. Ten squeezes his palm and Yukhei breathes.

 

“Are you sad, love?” Ten says quietly, swiping his thumb over Yukhei’s hand. He opens his eyes slowly and lifts his head a little to look into Ten’s lap. God, his hand always looks so cute in comparison to Yukhei’s giant one. He may be feeling like pure shit, but he still loves Ten more than anything that exists, so.

 

And mere moment later Ten lifts Yukhei’s hand to his soft, pink lips and kisses it and Yukhei gets a glimpse of a silver glimmer on Ten’s ring finger and he closes his eyes, fast. His heart is thrashing wildly, overjoyed, disbelieving, beating out the neverending rhythm of  _ holy fuck, holy fuck, holy fuck _ . But it also feels heavy and sorrowful. Guilty and so angry at Yukhei.  _ How can you be a sad, pathetic fuck right now, of all times?  _ It seems to be screaming at him.

 

“Yukhei?” Ten asks very, very gently, in this loving, caring way of his, and Yukhei just wants to cry, because of all those conflicting emotions swirling in his mind and fuck, here it goes. He’s soundlessly crying on their living room floor, his fiancé of 5 hours sitting there and comforting him while they are getting progressively more and more late for the meeting with their friends. Fuck life, man.

 

“I’m so sorry, Tennie” Yukhei manages to stammer out in between his silent sobs and the rapid rise and fall of his chest and the all around disaster that is his mental state at the moment. It takes a while.

 

“My Xuxi, you did nothing wrong, what are you apologizing for right now?” Ten asks half frantically, half soothingly, like he tends to do when Yukhei is breaking apart and Ten just wants to help. He’s never sure if he’s doing it right, but he tries. He tries so hard to do whatever he can to support Yukhei and he just appreciates Ten so fucking much. Ten starts combing his hand through Yukhei’s hair, making the space between his ribs feel a little less heavy.

 

One of the most surprising things about Yukhei is how quiet he is whenever he suffers. Many people see him as this loud, tall man with too much energy, someone that never shuts the hell up, and yet. He never allows his sobs to ring out in the air, always keeping them silent. His breathing is irregular as fuck, almost hyperventilating, face smeared with tears and snot and sweat and he just looks and feels like a whole mess, but he never cries out loud. One night, when Yukhei and Ten were sitting on their balcony, both too tipsy and too tired for it, Ten described his silence as heartbreaking. He thinks about it sometimes.

 

“Do you need a moment, baby?” Ten whispers, squeezing his hand. Yukhei swallows and nods weakly, to which Ten responds with a quick kiss to Yukhei’s forehead. “Deep breaths, love, deep breaths.” Ten reminds him and Yukhei tries. That’s all he can do right now, he just tries.

 

They spend the next few minutes listening to the sound of the slowly oscillating fan and Yukhei’s breathing, first very fast and erratic, then slowly but surely becoming something calmer. Yukhei takes a few deeper breaths and then quietly calls out Ten’s name. He hums in acknowledgment. 

 

“Ten, I’m sad,” he wipes his tears and tries to continue, quietly whispering all his thoughts and fears. “And I feel so guilty. You made me so happy today, so fucking happy, baby, but I can’t stop this awful feeling. I miss my home and my family so much, and I just wish they could have been there for our engagement, I want that so much. I wish they weren’t fucking assholes. And I know I should be over the roof, but _ I can’t, _ ” Yukhei croaks out the last part so pitifully, turning his tear streaked face to Ten. “I’m so sorry for ruining this day for us, baby. I’m kinda useless for not being able to enjoy it enough.”

 

Yukhei is still looking at Ten, trying to find any kind of indication that he thinks Yukhei is pathetic, too. He searches his face, but Ten is just irrationally pretty as always, aside from no visible signs of a desire to pack his things and leave Yukhei all alone in an empty apartment, completely fiancé-less. Ten just furrows his brows and momentarily stops petting Yukhei’s hair, in response to which Yukhei whines quite loudly. He deserves some affection after all that  _ feelings  _ shit!

 

Ten looks straight into his eyes and says:

 

“Come here, Lucas.”

 

And Yukhei freezes for a moment, just for a short second, right before his own body makes a decision for him and he mindlessly starts getting on all fours. Because what is he gonna do, say no? Ten only calls him Lucas when he’s pissed, horny  _ or _ about to shower Yukhei in praise. Considering Ten’s face expression, which Yukhei learned to read like a pro over their years of knowing each other, it’s the last one. He can’t fucking wait, even if he isn’t sure he deserves to be a subject to Ten's affection fest right now. 

 

The thing about just becoming friends with Ten was that he was quite hard to read when you didn't know him well. He teased people constantly, made fun of them at times, but he also gave really honest and caring advice and unexpectedly brought them food when they were having a rough week. His behavior left Yukhei pretty lost at the beginning of their relationship, never 100% sure if Ten liked him but tended to be rude, or just straight up hated him and sucked his dick out of pity.

 

It took Yukhei the better part of the first two months of them dating to sit Ten down and talk it out. Thanks to that conversation he learned that Ten does not in fact hate him, which was  _ a fucking relie _ f, but just shows his love in other, quieter ways than Yukhei’s used to. After spending literal hours explaining stuff to each other, he felt as if they understood each other better, knew what to expect and look out for more. Now, he realizes that their relationship probably couldn't have progressed much further without them communicating about this particular issue. He's proud of himself for initiating this conversation, even if it took him two  months to stop being a fucking coward about it. 

 

And now, five years into their love, they both trust each other so much, not as afraid to be vulnerable as they used to be. Yukhei has finally learned to recognize when Ten wants to be affectionate, but does so in ways that Yukhei has been horribly misinterpreting. Ten has grown to identify Yukhei’s constant enthusiasm and praise towards him as actual gestures of love, not something being very wrong. (“What the  _ actual _ , everloving  _ fuck _ do you mean by that?” “I don’t know! You were being too chummy, and all lovey-dovey, what was I supposed to think, Yukhei? It was suspicious!” “Suspicious.” “Yeah! I wasn't really, well, used to people being so affectionate towards me, I guess.” “Hm, okay. Fucking valid, babe.”) 

 

In Yukhei’s humble opinion one of the best things about their relationship progressing, and Ten and Yukhei themselves, too, was how they became increasingly soft with each other. Ten’s Praise Fest, being one of Yukhei’s favourite things like, ever, was a perfect example of that. It always took place with Yukhei sitting on Ten’s lap and stroking Yukhei’s hair and telling him about all of the things Ten loved about him. He absolutely loves being babied and Ten’s affectionate words and embrace has never failed to cheer him up, even on the worst of his days.

 

The anticipation for Ten’s praise shower is the sole reason why Yukhei gets off the floor, trying to simultaneously balance his whole large body using one hand, while wiping his tears with the other one. He gets on all fours, stays like this for a moment. He hangs his head down and then emits one, long and pitiful groan in this exact position. After doing that, he crawls over to Ten and finally arrives in his lap. He sits down comfortably, throws his arms over Ten’s shoulders and curls in on himself as much as he can, in order to place his head on Ten’s chest. Right there, Yukhei can put his ear to Ten’s body and hear a deep, strong thumping of his heart. Soon enough, Ten starts carding his fingers through Yukhei’s hair. He closes his eyes. Yukhei sincerely hopes that Ten is aware there is never going to be anything more comforting to him than Ten himself. 

 

“Baby, can I talk a little about what you just said?” Ten says, always caring and never wanting to overstep any boundaries. Sure, he jokes around, getting a little mean sometimes, but when it comes to things like this, things that matter? He would never intentionally hurt Yukhei or anyone else, he’s sure of that. 

 

Yukhei thinks about it for a moment and nods, hesitantly. He thinks it could do him some good to hear Ten’s perspective on this. And, hey! Their relationship has taught him that he’s not going to lose someone he loves just by expressing his negative thoughts and feelings, which is pretty tight! A win for Yukhei nation! Nothing to be afraid of! Most probably? Like, Ten’s affection shower is supposed to be a nice experience, he’s not about to break up with him,  _ right?  _ It is even a break up when you are engaged, though? Is it a half-divorce? Oh god, is Ten about to half-divorce him?

Before Yukhei can start spiralling even further, Ten leaves a kiss on the crown of Yukhei’s head. His thoughts settle and he hums. Yukhei nods again, more forcefully this time, nearly dislocating Ten’s jaw, but he just kisses his head again, letting him know it’s okay. He concentrates on Ten’s breathing pattern and waits.

 

“Yukhei, baby, you aren’t useless. You really, really aren’t.” Ten starts talking quietly, in this soothing way of his. “What you are is  _ sad _ , and that’s okay. You are allowed to be sad, love.” He quiets down, as if hesitating. “You remember what we talked about, right, Xuxi? About the depression thing.”

 

Yukhei nods, mutely. 

 

“I know we are like, super broke right now, so we can’t get you an appointment with a psychologist, which I regret, really. But you said that yourself, it’s a possibility, baby. That you might be depressed. And if you are, you can’t control when you are sad. Well, you can’t control when you are sad when you  _ don’t  _ have depression, too, but, yeah. You know what I mean. So,  _ please _ , Yukhei, don’t blame yourself for feeling like shit. It’s not your fault. You aren’t ruining anything. I am literally over the moon, babe. When you got on one knee today I thought I would just fucking die, like on the spot.” They both giggle quietly. Yukhei feels the tremors from Ten’s chest. He wishes he could just stay in this moment forever.

 

“So, don’t worry ‘bout it.” Ten starts again, whispering this time. “I mean, I know it’s easier said than done, but really, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s okay. We are okay. And to me, you are always going to be my big, lovely sushi roll of a fiancé.” He takes Yukhei’s face between his hands, delicately removing it from Ten’s chest, making him look up at Ten. “Depression or not, I love you.”

 

Yukhei can feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He wants to say that he just fucking! Loves Ten more than anything he knows, that at this point it’s hard to imagine himself being happy without Ten right there, by his side, that the idea of being able to call Ten his husband makes his head spin. He wants to say  _ Thank you, thank you, thank you, please never stop loving me, please don’t ever think you aren’t my dream that I have the privilege of fulfilling every single day, please let me wake up next to you til the moment I die _ . But all that he can do is just stare at Ten with tears running down his cheeks. 

 

“I love you, Tennie,” He says, trying to keep his voice strong and sure, but well. He’s crying at the moment, so it’s not really happening. “I can’t, like, say all the stuff I wanna say, cause, you know,  _ words _ , but holy fuck, I’m so happy you are there with me. I love you. Thank you for understanding” 

 

Ten presses a sweet, sweet kiss into Yukhei’s lips and leans his forehead on Yukhei’s one. “Nothing to thank me for. And I’m so, so happy with you, Xuxi. Don’t ever forget that.” 

 

They stay like this, pressed together and breathing in sync for a few more minutes. Yukhei feels loved and calm and like nothing is ever going to break them apart. Ten breathes out of his mouth and Yukhei feels it on his face, on his lips, too.

 

“You know, I miss my family, too. I mean, I know it’s a completely different situation, my parents aren’t homophobic, they just live far away. But I still think about them often and it’s okay. Even though you can’t replace them, it still makes me feel better, a little less homesick. I’m thankful for that. For you.”

 

“Okay, stop getting into my uwus fiancé, this is _ way _ too much for one day.” Yukhei says after a moment of silence, with his cheeks red and a grin stretched across his face. Ten responds by screeching very loudly and shoving Yukhei out of his lap, accompanied by Yukhei’s thunderous laugh as he violently crashes on the floor.

 

“You fucking asshole! We were having a moment!” Ten yells at him loud enough that if their neighbors weren’t awake before, they surely were right now. Ten stretches his tiny arms and reaches for the pillow from the couch, immediately hitting Yukhei on the head with it, who’s rolling on the floor while laughing uncontrollably.

 

“Fuck you! Oh my god, why are you like that?” Ten continues his assault, smiling a little. Yukhei doges the pillow and grabs Ten by his wrists, immobilizing him. That’s what he gets for being a bitch! Using his hold on Ten’s hands, he tugs him closer and start peppering his face with kisses, while Ten pretends that he’s trying to escape.

 

“Stop! Xuxi, stop!” Ten wriggles around happily, like a little worm, giggling constantly and Yukhei complies, halting his movements for a moment. Ten is out of breath from laughing, hair disheveled, his posture a little squished up because of how Yukhei is holding him, and damn has Yukhei lucked out. He lifts Ten’s palms and kisses them tenderly, nuzzling into his favourite, tiny hands. God, he loves Ten so much.

 

Yukhei’s still sad. He really regrets that his family couldn’t be there for their engagement. When he got up from one knee, him and Ten in tears and now officially fiancés, he really wanted to tell his mum. To get a pat on his shoulder from his dad, call his grandparents and close cousins and share the joy with people that brought him up. But he knows, he’s painfully aware that they wouldn’t be happy for him, they made that very clear last time they saw each other. It was months ago, but Yukhei still feels like he is constantly missing a part of himself without his family’s support, affection and their previously great relationship. He misses them, even if they treated him like shit.

 

He knows that he’s not okay, probably won’t be in the nearest future. Not only due to his fucking bigoted family, but also due to his depression, or whatever it is and about a billion of other things he struggles with. It’s not going be easy. 

 

But Yukhei has a badass fiancé that he adores, so many friends that will support him whenever he needs it and still so much life ahead of him. Hell yeah, it’s not going to be easy. But Yukhei thinks _ it will _ get a little easier as the time goes on and honestly, he can’t fucking wait.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading uwu!! comments and kudos make me very happy, so feel free to leave them if you liked it!


End file.
